Red Alert Is Straight Up Crazy
Summary: The space lines are a hotly contested area in the Sol system! And Red Alert really is. 15 May 2030 'Terrestrial Planets ' As you travel along what might be considered the organic life belt of the Solar System, the gleaming dots of Earth and Mars visible as they reflect the brilliant light of the Sun. This part of space seems much more cluttered as various defunct space probes from NASA and... others, litter the void. Contents: Darkwing Ransack Sharkticon Autobot Shuttle Risk - Shipping Lanes Autobot Sensor #3383 Mars Asteroid Belt Earth Obvious exits: Rimward leads to Gas Giants . Coreward leads to Core . Exo-Jet Apollo arrives from Earth Orbit. Exo-Jet Apollo has arrived. Jetfire leaves the Autobot Shuttle . Jetfire has arrived. From Autobot Shuttle , Red Alert is piloting the Golden Age. Joy of joys. This is one part patrol, and one part search routine, for, although Red Alert is currently part of a general effort to keep the shipping lanes safe in the face of increased Decepticon activity in the solar system, he's also heading out at the end to search for the Pz-Zazzian Bird. For now, however, he just glances over at the sensors and reports, using both voice with his passenger and his radio while to communicate to their other two companions, "So far, so good." Due to the increase in Decepticon attacks, the Autobots have decided to start patrols of the Solar System to help secure the home star system of their allies, the humans. One of the most obvious choices for patrols in space would be the Air Guardian, Jetfire. So, sure enough, the 'mighty' Veritech fighter is out in space watching for the enemy. Radioing to the Gold Age, <> Exo-Jet Apollo Jet sweeps through the space between Earth and Mars, sticking to the routes most often used by trade vessels and other transports. EDC command is a little nervous about known attacks on shipping vessels, and have stepped up patrols of the shipping lanes in order to reassure the people back home that the supply of exotic Nebulan seafood isn't going to dry up. From Autobot Shuttle , Milling around on the Golden Age is none other than Whirl. The greatest Wrecker ever? Yes. Yes he is. He pokes around with a datapad clutched between his claw; a desperate attempt to appear busy. "Nonsense! What could possibly go wrong?" Whirl responds to Red Alert's prediction. XF-35B Astral Lightning flies through space, seeking out the plums of the shipping lanes, to pluck for the glory of the Decepticon Empire. She feels like she should have a skull and crossbones painted just before her cockpit when she's doing these kinds of missions. There is probably a Decepticon shuttle somewhere behind her, ready to deploy troops as soon as she finds something interesting, and... what''s this? An Autobot shuttle? Excellent! Catechism radios to the other Decepticons, <> Sharkticon is running around on the shuttle in between the various occupants. Clamoring for food before they reach their objective. Gigantic Locust immediately transforms into his locust mode, antennae writhing about happily and firing off sparks at random. "Time for action, huh? Good, I was worried this was going to be a boring trip." he says, jaws clanking together as he imagines biting into Autobot metal. "Let's blow 'em out of the sk-...space!" Darkwing wasn't sure how he got roped into this. He had been laying low since Galvatron's return, as well avoiding this battle of the planets or whatever they wanted to call it. It all seemed rather futile. The Autobots would just win and the statis quo would remain the same. There was no reason to fight the universe and try to change that. He's seen that personally. Grumbling to himself about how badly they are gonna beat and just shouldn't be trying he grabs a jump pack, since he's rather useless in a space battle. He would have to look into that space flight upgrade, but there wasn't much point in it. He'd still get his aft kicked no matter how fast he'd move. From Autobot Shuttle , "What could go wrong?" Red Alert responds to Whirl. "What always goes wrong?" His voice is now moving into that higher register that it does when he gets more tense. "Decepticons!" With that, he points at one of the sensors screens. "You've got any short range means to move about out there, or do we need to sit around, let them board us, and /then/ take them out?" Finally something pops on Jetfire's scanners. A minor blip; but, a blip none the less. <> Jetfire opens up his scram-jets allowing the low blue burn to explode into a blue blast of pure energy as he increases velocity. From Exo-Jet Apollo , James Bailey examines various tactical diplays and sensor readings. After a year of almost continuous flying in this particular Exo, James knows a few tricks to coax extra capability from the systems. His sensor suite picks up both the Autobots and Decepticons, and manages to label a few of them based on their profile and appearance cross-referenced with the databse of known Autobots and Decepticons capable of operation in space. From Autobot Shuttle , If Whirl had eyes, he would roll them so far into the back of his head, lemme tell ya'. Instead, he just stares blankly as Red Alert begins Stage 1 of his freak-outs (Stage 3 is when he starts shooting things). "Hmm, Decepticons, you say?" Whirl tosses the datapad he was holding over his shoulder and saunters up to stare at the sensor screens. He taps his chin idly before suggestion, "Perhaps we should give them the false satisfaction of boarding, and then beat the crap out of them?" XF-35B Astral Lightning circles closer to the shuttle and its great white escort. This area of space is fairly clear visually, and she hasn't the sensors to pick up the ion traces that litter these space lanes. Lack of cover means that evasive maneuvers are more important. She pulls up, relative to the plane fo the solar system, so that she can then 'dive' on the shuttle or its guardian. She barks over the radio, <> After getter strapped into the jump pack, Darkwing exits into the vast bleakness of space, a fitting metaphor to the nature of the universe and the futility of everything. But, hey there are some Autobots out there. Maybe he'll get to smash something up. That always makes him feel a little better. Sharkticon follows the other Decepticons, a rocket pack strapped to his sharky back. He grinds his many sharky teeth as he heads out, anticipating a meal of Autobots. From Autobot Shuttle , Red Alert twitches his head to the left a little, then his optics dart around the cabin. "Nothing sensitive out in plain sight..." His fingers fly over the controls. "Latest encryption codes are ready to be deleted at a moment's notice." He glances up at Whirl and smirks. "We're ready to give them the smug satisfaction of a boarding." From Autobot Shuttle , Whirl lifts his arm to give Red Alert a high-five, but he lacks a hand to do so. Instead, he just waves a little bit. "Right! Just so we are clear, the plan is to wait until they board, take them by surprise, beat them senseless, rip their heads off, and toss their bodies out into the deep depths of space, correct?" Super Veritech Fighter catches sight of the unidentified blips and identifies them: Decepticons. <> Jetfire begins angles towards Catechism as he sees the femme 'con making her attack run. The underbelly turret begins to turn to bring Catechism into the crosshairs and the darkness of space suddenly flashes with the light of soundless laser beams. Combat: Super Veritech Fighter misses XF-35B Astral Lightning with his Laser attack! Combat: Super Veritech Fighter (Jetfire) used "Laser": A Level 2 RANGED attack. Exo-Jet Apollo Jet emits a tiny puff of maneuvering jets to swing around to face the two shuttles, then adds a brief burst of counterthrust once it's aligned with what's sure to be a combat zone soon. Unlike most Transformers in space, the human craft's movements are somewhat abrubt, intended for maximum efficiency, minumum wasted energy. It doesn't have the propulsion power to spare the way the energon-swollen robots do. Engines glowing white-hot, it speeds in, trying to follow Jetfire in but doesn't open fire yet. Sharkticon makes it to the shuttle and starts gnawing at the door. <> he shortranges to his companions, as he slowly but surely nibbles a hole in it. James Bailey says, "This is Captain Bailey from the EDC. I'm coming in for an attack run. Looks like one unidentified Decepticon flying under his own power, two others using some sort of jetpacks to approach the Autobot shuttle." Red Alert says, "Understood." XF-35B Astral Lightning climbs at the shot, letting it pass under her, but as a result, she overshoots Jetfire and his human partner. She transforms, her boot reaction-jets making her as agile in space as in the air, and she snaps off a shot at Jetfire with her arm gun, acid round style. Catechism calls to Darkwing and Gnaw, <> XF-35B Astral Lightning transforms into robot form. Catechism's feet unfold, her arms unfold out of her body, her nosecone rotates through her body and ends up on her shoulders to expose her face, and her wings rotate into position. Combat: Catechism misses Super Veritech Fighter with her Acid Strike attack! <> Darkwing grumbles over his shortwave raide as he flies over towards the shuttle, leaving the boss lady to get knocked around by Jetfire. He either doesn't register Bailey as a threat or is confident enough the Cate can handle a human germ. From Autobot Shuttle , "They're bording," Red Alert reports. He sets the vessel on autopilot, then heads towards the back of the vessel, near where they're entering... and throws himself up against the bulkhead. "I'll try to take the first one that joins from behind as soon as he enters," he hisses to Whirl, assuming Whirl follows. The time it took for Catechism to pull out the acid rifle tips off Jetfire to the incoming attack and Jetfire immediately pulls a hard veer to the right. For those who can detect such things, his radio bleeps up as he uses a directional transmission to coordinate attacks. The large white fighter turns his tail towards Catechism as he turns away. Jetfire continues this action to give Catechism a better angle to attempt to chase him. To further encourage pursuit, Jetfire unleashes a new surprise. A small panel opens up and a rocket drops out and explodes... casting little pellets towards Catechism. Combat: Jetfire sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Super Veritech Fighter strikes Catechism with his Pistol attack! From Autobot Shuttle , "And I'll form the head!" Whirl hollers, claw rising towards the ceiling as he takes position nearby Red Alert. He clears his throat and lowers his arm. "Uh, what I /meant/ to say was: and I will take the other, assuming there are not more than two. If there are, well..Either way, we should be okay." From Exo-Jet Apollo , James Bailey pulls away from Jetfire, still a bit jerky on the turns and vector changes, and then drops his speed considerably, letting the Autobot get far ahead of him. He activates his sensor suite again, scanning Catechism, documenting information on this new space-capable configuration, and adding it to existing data collected on the Decepticon by other EDC pilots - sometimes from their black boxes. Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo analyzes Catechism for weaknesses. Catechism does take some damage from the pellets, leaving little pockmarks on her armour. She withdraws her whip - it's excessively long with twin tails. In space, there is nothing to produce drag on the whip, and electricity still carries down the lines just fine. She's feeling pretty good about herself, she has to say, a wild grin spreading across her lips. Over general radio, she encourages, <> Then, she casts her line, trying to lash both Jetfire and the Terran craft. Combat: Catechism sets her defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Catechism strikes Exo-Jet Apollo Jet with her Whiplash Whirlwind Area attack! Combat: Catechism strikes Super Veritech Fighter with her Whiplash Whirlwind Area attack! Gnaw has left. Gnaw enters the Autobot Shuttle . Darkwing has left. Darkwing enters the Autobot Shuttle . From Autobot Shuttle , Darkwing isn't as eager to enter as his comrad, expecting their to be a whole horde of Autobots waiting in their for them. After all that is how the universe likes to play things. He knows they'll never be able to take the ship, but he's not gonna upset more the one commander in such a short time. He peeks in through the hole using it as a sheild, and fires on the first Autobot he sees. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing strikes Whirl with his Electro-Kinetic Blasters attack! -2 As the whip hits Jetfire's armor, chunks of his armor break away attempting to reduce the damage done; however, the whip still manages to break through and hit a few of Jetfire's internal systems. The Air Guardian quickly begins to readjust power systems and reroute any systems damaged by the attack. Still, Jetfire got what he wanted: Catechism not paying attention to her own safety. The Veritech Fighter continues to fly away from Catechism; however, the engines stop producing thrust for a quick second as the fighter rolls end over end to bring the missiles to bear. The scramjets immediately fire bringing Jetfire slicing towards Catechism. <> Suddenly, one of the wing mounted missiles is released from its holding clamp and its solid fuel engine fires up. The uniquely headed missile flies towards Catechism. From Autobot Shuttle , Red Alert's plan to go unnoticed until the Decepticons have charged past him is a dismal failure. As Gnaw charges towards him, he stumbles backwards, clambering out of the way of those snapping jaws. "I would assure you that I taste terrible," he answers, lifting his rifle to fire, "but it doesn't /smell/ like you're that particular!" With that, he fires, never having been one to rely on his fists. Combat: Super Veritech Fighter strikes Catechism with his Armor-Piercing Missiles attack! Combat: Super Veritech Fighter (Jetfire) used "Armor-Piercing Missiles": A Level 3 RANGED attack. Combat: Super Veritech Fighter 's attack damages your armor. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert strikes Sharkticon with his High-Energy Particle Beam Rifle attack! -5 Exo-Jet Apollo Jet is rocked by whipping attack, armor that can withstand high-angle atmospheric re-entry scorched and blackened. The Exo's engines roar to life, the hull creaks with stress, and James' safety harness emits a few tiny metallic pings from the stress of sudden g-forces. A tiny turret set on the ventral surface, between the engines extends to a firing position and then angles to track Catechism as the Exo flies by. Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo Jet misses Catechism with its Laser attack! Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo Jet (Exo-Jet Apollo ) used "Laser": A Level 2 RANGED attack. From Autobot Shuttle , Anyone could see the change in Whirl's entire demeanor as the Decepticons make their way into the ship. The very second he sees the Sharkticon, something inside him clicks and the first thing out of his...mouth..is "WOOO! WRECK AND RULLLLEEE!" With a ridiculous amount of gusto, the Wrecker bolts towards the second enemy, Darkwing. Oh God, is he going to shoot a laser? A grenade? Electricity? No! He..he...tries to punch Darkwing in the face. With his boxy null-ray hand. From Autobot Shuttle , In his excited frenzy, Whirl doesn't seem to notice, or even remember getting shot at. In fact, his whole head seems kind of fuzzy. Almost like he can't focus. Oh well! Surely this wont be a problem four seconds from now! From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Whirl's Punch attack on Darkwing goes wild! From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Whirl strikes himself with his Punch attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Sharkticon gets hit right in the mouth with the attack from Red Alert. A few of his teeth fall out, but are quickly replaced. The Shark becomes angry that his meal is fighting back. "Autobot always taste good," he counters, lashing out with his tail in an attempt to knock Red Alert offbalance. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Sharkticon strikes Red Alert with his Spikey Tail Swipe (Kick) attack! Catechism gets smashed into by an armour piercing missile. It knocks her back and splinters her armour, letting the ionizing radiation of space play havoc with her internals. The force of the blow is such that she is sent reeling back through space, out of the path of the Apollo's laser. Her boot-mounted reaction jets pulse, and she subspaces the whip. Catechism observes, <> Since Jetfire is the one doing damage to her, he's the one at which she snaps off an arm laser shot. Combat: Catechism strikes Super Veritech Fighter with her 25-mm GAU-12 cannon (Laser) attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Darkwing blinks and then even he can't help but chuckle grimly as Whirl proceeds to beat himself up. "Why are you hitting yourself?" He asks, as even he can't resist the obvious joke. With there seemign to only be two Autobots, and the Paranoid one is preoccupied with his hungry ally, Darkwing steps in fully and tries to strike at Whirl while he's still dazed and confused from the blast. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing sets his defense level to Aggressive. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing strikes Whirl with his Silent Killer attack! -3 From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Whirl's Agility. (Crippled) From Autobot Shuttle , The tail hits Red Alert's legs, but considering he's already off his feet, it just... hurts his legs. He tries to scramble back some more, then snorts. "Quite the conversationalist, aren't you?" he grumbles as he sends a kick towards Gnaw's own legs in a quick attempt to give himself some room. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert sets his defense level to Neutral. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert strikes Sharkticon with his Kick attack! More armor flies from Jetfire's body as the shells from Catechism's attack his the cockpit portion of the space fighter. Several pieces of hi-tech circuitry break lose as the shells clear out. Still, he's headed towards Catechism and feels this is the best option at the time. As Jetfire nears the femme Con, he transforms and unleashes a punch towards Catechism. <> Super Veritech Fighter transforms into his Jetfire mode. Combat: Jetfire misses Catechism with his Punch attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Every ounce of Whirl's being was put in that punch. Every. Single. Ounce. It was truely a devestating blow. Whirl would know. He just punched himself in the face. Pieces of what subsitutes Whirl's face crack and dent from the force. "I..guh..what? How did..Did I..?" So distracted with his self-destructive behavior, Whirl has no time to react to the next shot. "ALAS! IT IS TRUE! I AM FIGHTING A GHOST! POLTERGEIST, BEWARE! FOR I AM A LICENSED GHOSTBUSTER!" And so Whirl tries to prove this by firing a null-ray at Darkwing. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Whirl strikes Darkwing with his Who You Gunna Call? attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing has been temporarily incapacitated. Exo-Jet Apollo Jet flies by and then snaps around for another pass at Catechism. This time it pops open two tiny weapons bays along it's underside. Two tiny cylindrical missiles pop out, then once they're far enough away from the Exo they ignite and streak towards Catechism. Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo Jet misses Catechism with its Micro-Missiles attack! Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo Jet (Exo-Jet Apollo ) used "Heavy Machine Gun": A Level 5 RANGED attack. From Autobot Shuttle , Sharkticon is tripped up and thus starts rolling around. He may or may not run into Red Alert as he rolls and picks up steam, doing his best impersonation of a billiard ball. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Sharkticon strikes Red Alert with his Sharkball corner pocket (Smash) attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Darkwing lets out another slight chuckle watching the cyclops' confusion to what is going on. Darkwing starts to think this getting to be fun, then he gets shot. He growls softly as he is hit by the nullray, and finds himself unable to move. Great. So much for fun. Catechism slides back, reaction jets pulsing, out of punching range, even if Jetfire has a rather impressive swing - and out of Micro-Missile range. Her reactions jets then push her up relative to the solar plane, as if to vault over both Jetfire and the Apollo. She snaps off a quick arm-gun shot at Jetfire, considering her options. She'll need to deal with the Terran sometime, though Jetfire strikes her as the bigger threat, at the moment. Combat: Catechism strikes Jetfire with her Zap! (Disruptor) attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Red Alert is crunched into as Gnaw rolls around the spaceship floor. It's a pretty bad crunch, too, as his side is caved in. "Argh! Blasted Sharkticons," he complains, scrambling to his feet. He lowers his rifle and fires once more, now trying to back away from the beast. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert strikes Sharkticon with his High-Energy Particle Beam Rifle attack! -2 Another blast hits Jetfire and the Air Guardian cringes. <> Pulling out his own blaster, Jetfire adjusts his own movement through through firing various rockets from his alt mode. While they do work, it isn't as effective as Catechism. He then aims and fires several shots at his enemy. Combat: Jetfire misses Catechism with his Single Particle-Beam attack! Combat: Jetfire (Jetfire) used "Single Particle-Beam": A Level 3 AREA-RANGED attack. From Autobot Shuttle , Whirl stumbles around like a dizzy idiot for a few moments before leaning against a bulkhead and steadying himself. "Hurrmm...Yes. Even the supernatural is no match for my elite, wrecking skills!" He saunters over to the Decepticon and eyes him carefully, "Wait...waitwaitwaitwaaaiiiiittttttuhhhhhh! You are no ghost! No, no! You are not! You are a robot! Hmm, yes. This is a great development! Go ahead! Ask me why!" Whirl pauses to let Darkwing respond, but after a whopping half a second, he continues. "Because you can't hit ghosts. But you can hit roooooooobooootttssssss!" And so he does. He pulls his arm back and tries to slap the jet across the face with his claw hand. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Whirl strikes Darkwing with his What Did the Five Fingers Say to the Face? (Punch) attack! Exo-Jet Apollo Jet flies in closer, then transforms into it's own robot mode, the pilot hoping that Catechism will have more trouble handling two opponents at close range. He activates his own radio and transmits a quick message. <> Then the Exo raises a hand-held gunpod and opens fire, angling it's shot so that a miss won't risk striking Jetfire. Twisting and shifting, the Apollo transforms into an exo-suit. Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo strikes Catechism with its Medium Machine Gun attack! From Autobot Shuttle , When Sharkticon is struck by the blast, he rolls back towards the wall, then back again. The little hungry Shark wants a meal out of this, so he opens wide to try to feast on his opponent. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Sharkticon misses Red Alert with his Feeding Frenzy attack! Grimlock says, "HEY." Grimlock says, "HEY YOU AUTOBOTS." Steeltread says, "I'm glad I got that filter installed for when Grimlock first yells." Kup says, "*clank**bam**pew* Yeah?" From Autobot Shuttle , Darkwing grumbles slightly as he is hit in the face by Whirls fist and staggers back. On the the bright sid,e he can at least move again. "For a wrecker, you've mostly done good at getting yourself wrecked. But I suppose the even the Wreckers have to bow to equal oppertunity employment." He says as he attempts to ram the Wrecker into the wall. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing strikes Whirl with his Ram attack! Catechism jinks down to evade the particle beam, but she finally gets hit by the human, and it is quite the hit! Armour cracks and dents in, making a ruin of the ex-Seeker. She whirls on the human, anger flashing in her red optics. However, she relaxes a bit, and she casts an acid round, this one loaded with extra juice, at the human. Combat: Catechism sets her defense level to Neutral. Combat: Catechism misses Exo-Jet Apollo with her Acid Strike attack! Grimlock says, "Hmmm. Sound like you Kup busy." From Autobot Shuttle , As Gnaw rushes Red Alert, mouth open, Red Alert lifts his rifle again, and fires a shot right into his jaws... or as close as he can manage before he darts backwards, trying to avoid those snapping teeth himself! From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert misses Sharkticon with his High-Energy Particle Beam Rifle attack! -3 Steeltread says, "good guess." Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock guess me make SEEKRIT PLANS later, then." Red Alert says, "Excellent *sound of laser shot in the background* idea, *sound of metal hitting metal* Grimlock." Taking the human's advice, Jetfire transforms back into his space fighter mode and fires off the scramjet thrusters. <> The blue hue from the engines intensifies as Jetfire drops more power into the huge engines... thankfully, they don't produce a lot of radiation. The once beautifully crafted space fighter flies towards Earth... attempting to avoid being followed or shot out of the space while retreating. Skydive says, "A screet? really?" Jetfire transforms into his Super Veritech Fighter mode. Combat: Super Veritech Fighter begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit. Steeltread says, "you could always make your secret plans now and.....just tell us later." Grimlock says, "IS SEEKRIT PLAN SO NO TELL ANYBODY" Steeltread says, "I'm golden man. *the pun is obvious there*" Skydive says, "A good secret is one that only a few bots know you konw." Nightbeat says, "Two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead." Grimlock says, "So...who me Grimlock need shoot, Nightbeat?" Steeltread says, "you don't need to shoot an autobot, Grimlock." Steeltread says, "however...if a decepticon finds out your secret....shoot them." Chief Crosshairs says, "I think you should shoot Steeltread." Steeltread says, "wait.....shoot them even if they don't." Grimlock says, "But me shoot them septi-cons anyway!" Grimlock says, "Ooooh. That good idea, Crosshairs!" Chief Crosshairs says, "He's the loudest one, so he *MUST* know your secret." Exo-Jet Apollo is rocked violently by the recoil of it's own weapon. Of course, James thinks to himself. In space every shot is like firing a rocket out of the end of that gun. He barely manages to depress the foot pedals in his pilot's compartment, causing a feathery burst of foot-thrusters that takes him out of the line of fire from the acid attack. Flipping a switch to reconfigure his Exo in it's fighter configuration again, he pulls away from Catechism, another turret on it's underside swivelling to fire backwards at the Decepticon. Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo strikes Catechism with its Laser attack! Rodimus Prime says, "Crosshairs." Steeltread says, "loud? I'm not the one yelling on the broadband." Rodimus Prime says, "Grimlock doesn't need encouragement." Steeltread ponders. "I'll stop." Chief Crosshairs says, "Yes, Cap'n?" Chief Crosshairs says, "Ah, very well." Rodimus Prime says, "Although I favor him shooting Decepticons, too." From Autobot Shuttle , "Ah. Ahaha. Ahahaha! Ahaahahaha! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAGAHAHHAGHAHAHA!" Whirl doubles over in laughter at Darkwings hee-larious joke. "HAHAHA W-WRECKAGGAHAHAHHA!" He bolts upright and stares. "I don't get it." Wait, Whirl! You didn't get the punchline! The joke is YOU JUST GOT THROWN INTO A WALL! A loud thud is heard as helicopter robot meets shuttle wall, and since the weaker one has to give, Whirl ends up with all the pretty dents. "You're..you're not a very good joke teller. But, that's okay, because I'm a licensed comedian! Ready? Okay..Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?" Whirl sends a kick at Darkwing's gut. "BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD!" From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Whirl sets his defense level to Aggressive. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Whirl strikes Darkwing with his Comedy Gold (Kick) attack! Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock can hear you, y'know." Rodimus Prime says, "/Do/ you need encouragement, Grimlock? I thought you were more confident than that." Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock no need encouraging! Me Grimlock have ALL THE COURAGES." City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "That's very nice, Grimlock." Rodimus Prime says, "Great to hear!" From Autobot Shuttle , Somehow, the Sharkball manages to dodge the next shot. Probably because he tripped as he was trying to feed. But now he's in a full-fledged shark-attack mode, his jaws gnashing together like Pac Man on steroids. Somewhere in the distance...the Jaws theme starts up. Kup says, "Grimlock, don't shoot any Autobots--*clank*--Nnnf, unless I tell you to!" From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Sharkticon misses Red Alert with his Shark Attack! attack! Twisting and shifting, the Apollo transforms into an exo-jet. From Autobot Shuttle , Darkwing grumbles and staggers back from the kick. "Jokes are for those that are too stupid to realize the their plkace in the universe." He growls and pulls his trusty blaster out and fires on the wrecked Wrecker once more. Rodimus Prime says, "Or you're in a training room." From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing misses Whirl with his Electro-Kinetic Blasters attack! -2 City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Or it's Powerglide." Catechism is disappointed that her acid rounds seem to be made of fail today. On the other hand, she seems to have scared off the mighty Air Guardian, a commendable feat any day. While she's busy being happy about that, the human shoots her again. Ow. That really hurts. Reaction jets burning hot, she lunches at the exo, aiming to punch the suit upside the head. Powerglide says, "Oh, ha ha." Combat: Catechism sets her defense level to Fearless. Combat: Catechism strikes Exo-Jet Apollo Jet with her Smiting the Heathens (Punch) attack! Kup says, "Grimlock might not have to!" Steeltread says, "Even.......*extremely long pause*" Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock shoot anyone me want to!" Steeltread says, "all right guys.....they might need the channel." Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock need channel for telling everyone how great me am!" Grimlock says, "Also: SEEKRIT PLAN." Rodimus Prime says, "If you say it over the channel it won't be a secret." Grimlock says, "Oh. Uuuuh." Grimlock says, "Him Soundwave am stupid face!" Kup says, "I think I can talk and beat up two Sweeps at the same time, but, eh!" Steeltread says, "Sweeps? need a broom?" From Autobot Shuttle , Despite being a crippled cyclops with no hands to speak of, Whirl is still speedy when he needs to be; especially when it comes to dodging potentially fatal shots. "Hahahaha! You missed me! You missed me! Now you have to /kiss me/!" The Wrecker makes like a football player and throws himself at Darkwing in a tackle. Exo-Jet Apollo Jet is rocked about by the attack, and the damage control computer begins tracking loss of systems effectiveness. Inside, James is sweating; it's been a long time since hes had such a hard fight. This Decepticon flyer has already chased off one Autobot. Nothing seems to stop it. "Well, no point in fighting fair," James grunts, veering back to the main battle and trying to bring this duel back to where the rest of his allie are. Fighting one on one with this Decepticon is becoming impossible...he needs back up. He heads straight for the Autobot shuttle, firing a swarm of small missiles that veer off and then turn in space to streak behind him and hopefully discourage pursuit. From Autobot Shuttle , Red Alert steps back, allowing Gnaw's vicious jaws to snap shut on thin air, then takes two steps and /leaps/, vaulting over the Sharkticon's head, possibly even springing off the Decepticon's top. He twists in the air, landing behind Gnaw and perhaps reminding people that, while he's not nearly as strong as some of the other Autobot Lamborghinis, he's still rather agile. Once behind he takes aim and fires with his weapon at high power, deciding not to risk his rockets in their own spaceship. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Whirl strikes Darkwing with his NO HOMO (Ram) attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert strikes Sharkticon with his High-Energy Particle Beam Rifle attack! Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo Jet misses Catechism with its Micro-Missile Swarm attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Darkwing gets knocked into the wall behind him from the ram. He should have known that shot would have missed. He was on oo much of a roll, and of course anytime he seems to be doing a good job the Universe likes the step in and remind him of his place. He shakes his head as he takes a moment to gather himself, and figure out his next move. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing takes extra time to steady himself. Pass Catechism is high on sinking that punch, and as that swarm comes at her, she dives through it headlong, Micro-Missiles passing around her on all sides. The exo-jet may be trying to out-race her, but can it out-race bullet? She'd like to find out. Ballistic rounds slot into her arm guns, and she lets a spray of them fly at Earth's finest. Combat: Catechism misses Exo-Jet Apollo Jet with her 25-mm GAU-12 cannon (Pistol) attack! From Autobot Shuttle , The Sharkticon gets hit again, this time showing obvious signs of damage. Nevertheless, he stubbornly attempts to subdue Red Alert, as he is still hungry and still hasn't had much to eat other than the shuttle door. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Sharkticon strikes Red Alert with his Grab attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Red Alert squirms as he's grabbed, dropping his rifle and flailing his other arm. "Hey! Let me go! Let go!" he shouts in a moment of panic. He twists and adjusts himself, moving his shoulder to point it towards the Sharkticon. "Didn't want to do this inside the shuttle, but... if you want to eat a piece of me? You're going to have to settle for this!" From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert sets his defense level to Fearless. From Autobot Shuttle , Red Alert realizes he never reloaded. So he just looks really stupid and takes the moment to recover his strength. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert takes extra time to steady himself. Pass From Autobot Shuttle , Oh good, Darkwing isn't attacking just yet. Whirl stumbles backwards and slumps against his other enemy: the wall. Time for a breather. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Whirl takes extra time to steady himself. Pass Exo-Jet Apollo Jet flies around and behind the Autobot Shuttle, using it's bulk to screen Catechism's fire. Sure it means the Autobot shuttle gets hit, but James figures it's space-hardened armor can absorb a few ballistic shots. All the while he keeps one targetting reticle painted on where his sensors tell him the Decepticon is, so that when he emerges from the other side his weapons are locked on Caechism's profile. This time he responds with his own (Exo's) ballistic attacks, but just a short bursts - after his earlier experience he's more careful about recoil in space. Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo Jet strikes Catechism with its Pistol attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Watches and waits for what he hopes is some sign. Then he sees it. The moment Whirl drops his guard for a breather, Darkwing rushes towards the fallen wreck in and attempt to grapple him. He wasn't really sure what he would be once he had the Wrecker, maybe he'll try to feed him to Gnaw. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing misses Whirl with his Grab attack! Catechism gets hit by the human's shot, and she decides to return to her swifter spacejet form to chase and harry him. The spacejet form also has access to potent Slammer missiles. She tries to fly under the shuttle to line up a shot on her slippery little foe. "Fox two!" Okay, so there is no one inside her cockpit to hear that, but it feels good to say it, anyway. Catechism transforms to her jet mode, which is quite astoundingly simple for the coneheaded model that she is. Combat: XF-35B Astral Lightning strikes Exo-Jet Apollo Jet with her AIM-120C AMRAAM attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Finally the Sharkticon transforms, to utilize his other weapons. Bringing his maceration laser to bear, he fires it at Red Alert, hoping to let the weapon's caustic properties soften up his meal for him. From Autobot Shuttle , Gnaw transforms into his robot mode. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Gnaw misses Red Alert with his Maceration Laser attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Red Alert manages, in all his flailing, to take advantage of the moment that Gnaw transforms and stumble back out of his way. Once more he runs across the cargo bay, attempting to give himself space to work, and as he runs he twists back, firing a low powered blast towards Gnaw. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert sets his defense level to Neutral. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert strikes Gnaw with his High-Energy Particle Beam Rifle attack! -5 Exo-Jet Apollo Jet is blasted backwards by the missile, slamming loudly into the side of the Autobot shuttle. Inside, James hits the transformation sequence and then takes up the robot form controls, locking one of the Exo's hands onto a rent in the shuttle's armor to hold it steady. Braced this way, it's able to hoist the gunpod and let fly a long stream of tracer rounds, trying to walk the fire into the space-jet. Twisting and shifting, the Apollo transforms into an exo-suit. Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo misses XF-35B Astral Lightning with its Medium Machine Gun attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Whirl's optic flickers a few times as he tries to keep his energy levels up. This stupid jet just wont go down. Using his super awesome ninja skills again, Whirl escapes Darkwing's clutches. "Hey. Hey! You! Yeah, you! It's getting late. I'm going to miss the new episode of House! What if he says something insensitive to a patient? I don't want to miss that!" He levels his null-ray module at Darkwing and fires, but instead of a paralyzing beam, it's a fusillade of shots. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Whirl misses Darkwing with his Repeating attack! -1 XF-35B Astral Lightning is too fast to be hit when she really lets her engines scream, which she does now! She then banks and comes by for another run on the Terran, switching to her gun pod instead of Slammers. Catechism can only carry so many of those, after all, and she would like to save them for other things that need to be exploded. Combat: XF-35B Astral Lightning misses Exo-Jet Apollo with her 25-mm GAU-12 cannon (Laser) attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Darkwing turns quickly and is luckily able to dodge the repeating blasts. "Isn't it the wrong night for that? Wait... why do I know that?" He mutter to himself and then his red optics blink through his purple visor as he remembers. "Slag it Rampage! Stupid primative trying to get me to be social..." He grumbles and takes aim for the equally annoying Wrecker. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing strikes Whirl with his Punch attack! Catechism says, "How goes the fight inside the shuttle?" Darkwing says, "Surprisingly well I think. That Wrecker that's trying to steal Shockwave's look is taking quite the beating. Not shure how Gnaw is doing, not been paying attention to him." From Autobot Shuttle , The cumulative effects of all the attacks has Gnaw reeling, and he steps back a bit. Then he rears back with a fist and tries punching Red Alert's lights out. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Gnaw misses Red Alert with his Punch attack! Exo-Jet Apollo tightens it's grip on the shuttle and then uses it for leverage as it twists to the side. Catechism's shot hits the already-dented section of hull where the Apollo was a second ago. Inside, James chews his lower lip at the additional damage to a friendly vessel. Well, maybe he can assign Sam to help patch it up later. Rank has it's priveledges. But getting back to the matter at hand, he paints Catechism with targetting systems and triggers a firing control. Outside, the Exo's head-mounted lasers swivel down to point at Catechism before unleashing a barrage of high-energy pulses. Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo misses XF-35B Astral Lightning with its Laser attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Red Alert ducks beneath Gnaw's punch, panting faintly, and from that lowered position he aims his rifle and fires full force into Gnaw's... Gnaw's round roundishness. He seems to be growing tired with the length of the fight, but outside of the early damages, he's not hurting too badly. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert misses Gnaw with his High-Energy Particle Beam Rifle attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Whirl is socked. Again. This whole getting punched things is getting really old really fast. His optic, currently glowing a dim red, begins to flicker again as his energy falls fast. "Hrrrmm..No. No, no, no, no. It's..it's.." He pushes against one of the walls and slumps down. "It's..never..lupus.." From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Whirl takes extra time to steady himself. Pass XF-35B Astral Lightning cuts thrust, letting the shot fly where she would have been if she had continued at her current velocity. She then flies straight at the exo-jet, as if intending to play chicken with the whole side of a shuttle! At the last moment, she transforms, flinging her feet at the exo-jet, hopefully o crush ti against the side of the shuttle. <> XF-35B Astral Lightning transforms into robot form. Catechism's feet unfold, her arms unfold out of her body, her nosecone rotates through her body and ends up on her shoulders to expose her face, and her wings rotate into position. Combat: Catechism strikes Exo-Jet Apollo with her Kick attack! Red Alert says, "Bailey? Whirl? How are you two doing?" From Autobot Shuttle , Darkwing glares down to the the tired Wrecker. "You seem like you need a nap. Let me help you lie down1" Darkwing growls and slams his foot down, hoping the knock the wrecker the the floor. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing strikes Whirl with his Smash attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Once again fortune, or just plain dumb luck, smiles on Gnaw for a little while. Red Alert's attack misses, and the Sharkticon takes the opportunity to try to smack him over the head with his mace. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Gnaw misses Red Alert with his Barbed Mace attack! From Autobot Shuttle , "Oh, thank you. You're too ki-" Whirl is stomped right in the chest, his canopy now sporting a cool spiderweb crack. He hits the floor with a thud and groans. This is great. What a great idea. Sure, let them board the ship! It'll be funny! Ha ha! God, he should punch whoever suggested it in the face. Uh, oh right. He already did. "Psst, hey. Hey, you..I got a secret. Wanna hear? Okay, listen up.." Whirl's voice drops to a whisper, "S. A. F. E. T. Y." The weird box latched onto his ankle begins to beep and within a few seconds, it lets out some crazy-ass energy field. "DANCE!" From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Whirl strikes Darkwing with his Paralyzo-Box attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Darkwing's Agility. (Crippled) Exo-Jet Apollo is smashed back against the side of the shuttle, and now sports two foot-shaped imprints on the main armor plate over it's chest. The momentum of the impact and Catechism's greater size and mass pins the Exo against the side of the shuttle, and all it can do in response is ratchet a leg up, the join bending farther than any organicly articulated limb would allow. Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo strikes Catechism with its Kick attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Red Alert twists back, gliding out of the way of the mace, ducking under it. As the mace swings over him, he slips and runs past Gnaw, turns, and tries to kick the Sharkticon in the back. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert misses Gnaw with his Kick attack! -1 From Autobot Shuttle , Gnaw's not exactly known for being agile, but he manages to avoid the kick in the same motion as he transforms and tries to chomp down on some part of Red Alert. He still wants his dinner, dammit! From Autobot Shuttle , Gnaw transforms into his Sharkticon mode. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Sharkticon misses Red Alert with his I'll just nibble... (Punch) attack! Catechism is left weak and weary by the Terran's kick, which lands solidly on her knee. She withdraws her whip and tries to use it as a makeshift garrote. Will it do much, choking an exo-suit? No, not really. Especially considering that exo-suits don't really have heads. She isn't about to let a little thing like the laws of physics stop her, though! Combat: Catechism strikes Exo-Jet Apollo with her Garrote attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Darkwing blinks at the energy feild... that seems to do almost nothing to him. "Was that supposed to tickle? I guess the Wrecker isn't as badaft as he seems if he's resorting to petty tricks so soon." He says with a softly. "You really should face your doom on your feet. Since I knocked you down, let me help you up!" He luaghs and reaches down quickly trying to grab ahold of Whirl's neck and yank the wrecker up to his feet. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing strikes Whirl with his Grab attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Red Alert jumpts to the left, avoiding, again, being gnawed by the Gnaw. From his new position he tries to hit the beasty in the side of the head. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert sets his defense level to Aggressive. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert strikes Sharkticon with his Slap To The Side Of The Head! (Punch) attack! From Autobot Shuttle , MANY YEARS AGO "Hey Whirl, check out this cool new weapon I bought! It's called a Paralyzo-Box!" "Sounds useful. I'LL TAKE IT!" NOW As Whirl is snatched and hefted up by the neck, he decides that maybe he should do research before buying things. "Hey, man. The Terrans have this store called 'Hot Topic'. I think it's right up your alley. You should check it out some time." The Wrecker opens up his claw hand and goes to grasp the the arm currently choking him. Should he succeed, he'll put all his energy into the claws hydraulics and squeeze the jet's arm until it gives. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Whirl strikes Darkwing with his Grab attack! From Exo-Jet Apollo , James Bailey looks up in disbelief and concern as he hears metal creaking above him. Screens spark and short out, displays go dim and he's suddenly he's bathed in dim red glow of emergency lighting. Luckily he's nestled safely somewhere in the torso of the Exo-Suit when it's in a humanoid configuration. But from the sounds (even damage control is off-line at this point) that Decepticon is sawing through the neck of his Exo. He shudders to think what would happen if an Exo gets beheaded -in space-. Grimacing, James hits a control, triggering his Exo's head lasers in a low-powered spray of energy that will hopefully hit by the sheer fact that Catechism's right in front of them. Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo strikes Catechism with its Disruptor attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Gnaw gets slapped upside the head! That sends him rolling again...like a crazy pinball! From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Sharkticon takes extra time to steady himself. Pass Catechism does get shot, and she even recoils back, sent adrift for a moment before she recovers. The whip goes away into subspace, and the arm guns are primed again. She snaps off a shot at him, sneering, <> Combat: Catechism strikes Exo-Jet Apollo with her Zap! (Disruptor) attack! From Autobot Shuttle , Darkwing 's grap loosens as Whirl grabs anf squeezes down on his arm. As he doesn't think Whirl's face has suffered enough damage, Darkwing reels back with his other fist and tries to strike the nearest side while the singular optic is focused on his grabbed arm. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing misses Whirl with his Hey over here! (Punch) attack! Red Alert says, "Bailey! What's your status? Whirl's down." Kup says, "POWERGLIDE! Where are you--dammit!" From Autobot Shuttle , "Whirl!" Red Alert shouts as the other Autobot goes down. Since he's been given reprieve by Gnaw rolling around like a pinball, he turns to fire at the other Decepticon, rushing towards the downed Autobot. Motormaster grunts, "You losers nearly done up there?" From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Red Alert misses Darkwing with his High-Energy Particle Beam Rifle attack! -2 Catechism says, "/Winners/." Exo-Jet Apollo emits sparks and arcs of electricity. Inside, even the emergency lights dim before flickering back to life, noticeably weaker than before. James hits a few select command and pieces of armor and weapons systems jettison. He flicks the transformation control and then increases throttle experimentally, trying to keep an eye on Catechism's position on a tactical screen. As soon as he's far enough from the shuttle he brings his propulsion system to full power to begin limping away. Catechism says, "Jetfire's retreated! And Darkwing's not whining, so it can't be going too badly." Twisting and shifting, the Apollo transforms into an exo-jet. Combat: Exo-Jet Apollo Jet begins retreating, leaving itself vulnerable to parting shots from Autobot Shuttle Blitzwing says, "Unless Darkwing's feeling too much of a whiner to actually whine! Hah!" Catechism says, "Oh look, the little human is running away home." Motormaster says, "Hah! /Pathetic/. If they're running from you lot, they can't have a hope." Darkwing says, "No, I'm in rather good spirits. I just beat that insane blue wrecker into a bloody pulp. All thats left is that paranoid security guard." Catechism says, "Pathetic is your team's showing, Motormaster. Where have the Stunticons been, off eyeing the car show beauties?" Red Alert's voice sounds rather dangerously unstable. "There won't be much less of you if you don't clear out," he says, tone wavering up and down as he speaks. From Autobot Shuttle , Sharkticon is still rolling around, but the possibility grows of him knocking into Red Alert. But then again, this is Gnaw. His best hope, Lady Luck of the Short Bus, seems to have abandoned him for now. Catechism says, "Oh, what are you going to do? Threaten to jab us with fake truth serum?" From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Sharkticon strikes Red Alert with his rollover (Smash) attack! Red Alert sounds manically cheerful. "Oh no... I'll go down hard... and bring your pals down with me!" Motormaster barks, "Those useless pieces of slag couldn't find the car show, let alon- HAH! You're dead, Autobrat! How /dare/ you speak here!" From Autobot Shuttle , Darkwing beats Whirl into a what the human gemrs might call a 'bloddy coma', gettign revenge for millina of abuse from other Wreckers when he was an Autobot Prisoner. His fists covered with a mech fluid as he looks to Red Alert as the paranoid mech rushes over. "What did you expect? He just wouldn't shut up." He says with a wide grin. "But whereever he is know, this wrecker knows the true meaning of Suffering!" He luaghs and easily dodges the attack and then sees the ball of teeth get lucky and slam right into Red Alert. "Your getting pathtic if your letting Gnaw hit you." He laughs and tries to kick Red Alert while he's down. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing misses Red Alert with his Kick attack! Catechism says, "I wasn't aware that Autobots had a habit of kamikaze tactics." Hardhead says, "Anybody besides those in direct combat know what's going on with those last two messages? I don't wanna bust up anybody's concentration in a firefight or anything, but those both sounded right serious." Red Alert says, "It's not like *I* have anything to lose... I don't have anywhere to run anyway!" Catechism is quite, quite satisfied today. That is /two/ infuriating enemies she has sent packing - a human and the mighty Space Guardian, Jetfire! Also, Darkwing and Gnaw are performing well! What could possibly ruin her day now? Oh... what's Red Alert prattling about now on the radio? Oh. That's not good, she does not think. She transforms into her spacejet mode, anxious. Catechism transforms to her jet mode, which is quite astoundingly simple for the coneheaded model that she is. Catechism says, "Darkwing, Gnaw - pull out. Let the Autobot limp away. We'll spend the rest of the day preying on these space lanes." From Autobot Shuttle , Red Alert, seeing things are /rather/ hopeless and that there really is no means of retreat, begins to lose it. He does that sometimes. While Gnaw manages to run into him, he rolls out of the way of Darkwing's attack, and barks out a mocking laugh, his tone that same wavering, unstable tone that he's taken over the radio. "If I'm pathetic for having been hit by the Sharkticon, what are you for missing what ever a Sharkticon can hit?" He cackles, an entirely unhealthy laugh, and stands, scrambling towards the front of the ship. Darkwing says, "Right. I don't like how that freak is luaghing anyway..." Red Alert's voice is wavering in that strange way it tends to when he's starting to lose his marbles. "Might want to work with Earth... redirect space traffic... we couldn't make it... but I'll be taking /these/ down with me!" From Autobot Shuttle , Suddenly the Sharkticon pauses, then starts to waddle to the exit, where he activates his rocket pack and heads back to the con Shuttle. "Us go." he says to Darkwing. Looks like someone ordered them to pull out. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Sharkticon begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit. Nightbeat says, "Red Alert! Stay with us. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." From Autobot Shuttle , Getting the order to let the Autobot tuck tail and run, Darkwing doesn't waste even a nano escaping from out of the whole Gnaw made earlier. He was in one of his rare happy moods, he beat the slag outta a Wrecker. Little could be done now to ruin his mood. From Autobot Shuttle , Combat: Darkwing begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Sharkticon and Red Alert Red Alert says, "And just what wouldn't you do, Captain?" Nightbeat says, "Good question! Er... by the way, there's a flask of high grade hidden under the altimeter panel. It'll take the edge off." Red Alert says, "Ooooh, good." XF-35B Astral Lightning circles around to regroup with the troopship, watching nervously as the troops bail out of the Autobot shuttle. That Red Alert? He is straight up crazy sometimes. From Autobot Shuttle , Given the direction of retreat, it certainly looks as though Red Alert intends to ram Mars! Things are liable to change once he realizes the Decepticons are gone. Or maybe just once he finishes that bottle of high grade that Nightbeat just told him about. Gnaw leaves the Autobot Shuttle . Gnaw has arrived. Autobot Shuttle drops Gnaw. Darkwing leaves the Autobot Shuttle . Darkwing has arrived. Autobot Shuttle drops Darkwing. Catechism says, "...looks like the lunatic wants to run into Mars. Ah well. Far be it for me to stop him. I think I see an ore frieghter off in Delta Quadrant..." Darkwing says, "Since we now seem to be in control of the shipping lanes, maybe that will weaken our enemies attempts at gettign supplies out to all their outposts." Catechism says, "Don't talk strategy now. The Autobots are listening. Just sing obnoxious emo music." Hun-Grrr says, "~o Me pushed my fingers into me eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeees... ~o" Catechism says, "Beautiful, Hun-Grrr. Beautiful." Darkwing says, "I don't sing, but if you want emo music..." Darkwing says and cuts off, as Linkin Park suddnely begins blaring loudly over the radio." Motormaster says, "GNARH." Motormaster's link cuts out with a sharp click. Guess he hung up. Ransack says, "Ya know, that is the least surprising thing ever." Americon says, "Crawwwwwling iiiin my teeeaaaars, these wounds, they will not hea-uhl, in Americaaaaa!" Decepticon Message: 2/87 Posted Author Piracy, engage! Fri May 15 Catechism ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Catechism appears, in jet mode, set against a starry background. She looks like she's been through the wringer, barely holding together, but she sounds cheerful as she reports, "Darkwing, Gnaw, and I have taken the shipping lanes! I think Ransack was around, too, but he got lost. Darkwing took down the Wrecker Whirl, and I forced the Space Guardian Jetfire and some random human to retreat. This apparently drove Red Alert nuts. More nuts than usual. Last time I saw him, he was going to run into Mars or something. Success! Commendations all around. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an ore freighter to plunder. Aaaarrrr!" Autobot Message: 3/74 Posted Author Space Lanes Lost Fri May 15 Red Alert ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A voice recording by Red Alert. He sounds considerably more slurred than he normally does. "Spacelane patrol. Run in with the 'Cons. They boarded Golden Age. Uhm. Whirl and me fought Sharkticon and that gloomy jet. No, not that one. The other one. Outside, Catechism against Jetfire and EDC. Bailey. Catechism beat Jetfire and he ran. Gloomjet beat Whirl and he got knocked out. Bailey's metal suit got beat and he ran. Still had Decepticons on the Golden Age. Uhm. Erm. Yeah. Couldn't run, figured I'd take 'em with me. Found the high grade that Nightbeat left in here. Tried to crash the vessel into an empty spot of Mars. Take 'em with me. Erm. I missed. Prolly a good thing, 'cos they bailed." "Anyway. Anyway. They have the lanes. We gotta get them back. Count me in. I'll show 'em. Hic." Finally, mumbled, "...need more rockets..." Americon says, "Ooh, Hinder, wanna check out this stuff I got!?" Autobot Shuttle has left. Ransack watches the report. "Hey, I didn't get LOST. I just...well, there was this stray asteroid, and it looked so nice gleaming in the rays of sunlight, so I just kinda...shot at it a little."